Asmaa Bint Abu Bakr
Asmaa Bint Abu Bakr
Asmaa bint Abu Bakr belonged to a distinguished Muslim family.
Her father, Abu Bakr, was a close friend of the Prophet and the
first Khalifah after his death. Her half- sister, A'ishah, was
a wife of the Prophet and one of the Ummahat al-Mu 'm ineen. Her
husband, Zubayr ibn al- Awwam, was one of the special personal
aides of the Prophet. Her son, Abdullah ibn az-Zubayr, became
well- known for his incorruptibility and his unswerving devotion
Asmaa herself was one of the first persons to accept Islam. Only
about seventeen persons including both men and women became
Muslims before her. She was later given the nickname Dhat
an-Nitaqayn (the One with the Two Waistbands) because of an
incident connected with the departure of the Prophet and her
father from Makkah on the historic hijrah to Madinah.
Asmaa was one of the few persons who knew of the Prophet's plan
to leave for Madinah. The utmost secrecy had to be maintained
because of the Quraysh plans to murder the Prophet. On the night
of their departure, Asmaa was the one who prepared a bag of food
and a water container for their journey. She did not find
anything though with which to tie the containers and decided to
use her waistband or nitaq. Abu Bakr suggested that she tear it
into two. This she did and the Prophet commended her action.
From then on she became known as "the One with the Two
When the final emigration from Makkah to Madinah took place soon
after the departure of the Prophet, Asmaa was pregnant. She did
not let her pregnancy or the prospect of a long and arduous
journey deter her from leaving. As soon as she reached Quba on
the outskirts of Madinah, she gave birth to a son, Abdullah. The
Muslims shouted AllaXu Akbar (God is the Greatest) and Laa
ilaaha illa Allah (There is no God but Allah) in happiness and
thanksgiving because this was the first child to be born to the
muhajireen in Madinah.
Asmaa became known for her fine and noble qualities and for the
keenness of her intelligence. She was an extremely generous
person. Her son Abdullah once said of her, "I have not seen two
women more generous than my aunt A'ishah and my mother Asmaa.
But their generosity was expressed in different ways. My aunt
would accumulate one thing after another until she had gathered
what she felt was sufficient and then distributed it all to
those in need. My mother, on the other hand, would not keep
anything even for the morrow."
Asmaa's presence of mind in difficult circumstances was
remarkable. When her father left Makkah, he took all his wealth,
amounting to some six thousand dirhams, with him and did not
leave any for his family. When Abu Bakr's father, Abu Quhafah
(he was still a mushrik) heard of his departure he went to his
house and said to Asmaa:
"I understand that he has left you bereft of money after he
himself has abandoned you."
"No, grandfather," replied Asmaa, "in fact he has left us much
money." She took some pebbles and put them in a small recess in
the wall where they used to put money. She threw a cloth over
the heap and took the hand of her grandfather --he was
blind--and said, "See how much money he has left us".
Through this strategem, Asmaa wanted to allay the fears of the
old man and to forestall him from giving them anything of his
own wealth. This was because she disliked receiving any
assistance from a mushrik even if it was her own grandfather.
She had a similar attitude to her mother and was not inclined to
compromise her honour and her faith. Her mother, Qutaylah, once
came to visit her in Madinah. She was not a Muslim and was
divorced from her father in preIslamic times. Her mother brought
her gifts of raisins, clarified butter and qaraz (pods of a
species of sant tree). Asmaa at first refused to admit her into
her house or accept the gifts. She sent someone to A'ishah to
ask the Prophet, peace be upon him, about her attitude to her
mother and he replied that she should certainly admit her to her
house and accept the gifts. On this occasion, the following
revelation came to the Prophet:
"God forbids you not, with regard to those who do not fight you
because of your faith nor drive you out of your homes, from
dealing kindly and justly with them. God loves those who are
just. God only forbids you with regard to those who fight you
for your Faith, and drive you from your homes, and support
others in driving you out, from turning to them (for friendship
and protection). It is such as turn to them (in these
circumstances) that do wrong." (Surah al-Mumtahanah 60: 8-9).
For Asmaa and indeed for many other Muslims, life in Madinah was
rather difficult at first. Her husband was quite poor and his
only major possession to begin with was a horse he had bought.
Asmaa herself described these early days:
"I used to provide fodder for the horse, give it water and groom
it. I would grind grain and make dough but I could not bake
well. The women of the Ansar used to bake for me. They were
truly good women. I used to carry the grain on my head from
az-Zubayr's plot which the Prophet had allocated to him to
cultivate. It was about three farsakh (about eight kilometres)
from the town's centre. One day I was on the road carrying the
grain on my head when I met the Prophet and a group of Sahabah.
He called out to me and stopped his camel so that I could ride
behind him. I felt embarrassed to travel with the Prophet and
also remembered az-Zubayr's jealousy--he was the most jealous of
men. The Prophet realised that I was embarrassed and rode on."
Later, Asmaa related to az-Zubayr exactly what had happened and
he said, "By God, that you should have to carry grain is far
more distressing to me than your riding with (the Prophet)".
Asmaa obviously then was a person of great sensitivity and
devotion. She and her husband worked extremely hard together
until their situation of poverty gradually changed. At times,
however, az-Zubayr treated her harshly. Once she went to her
father and complained to him about this. His reply to her was:
"My daughter, have sabr for if a woman has a righteous husband
and he dies and she does not marry after him, they will be
brought together again in Paradise."
Az-Zubayr eventually became one of the richest men among the
Sahabah but Asmaa did not allow this to corrupt her principles.
Her son, al-Mundhir once sent her an elegant dress from Iraq
made of fine and costly material. Asmaa by this time was blind.
She felt the material and said, "It's awful. Take it back to
Al-Mundhir was upset and said, "Mother, it was not transparent."
"It may not be transparent," she retorted, "but it is too
tight-fitting and shows the contours of the body."
Al-Mundhir bought another dress that met with her approval and
she accepted it.
If the above incidents and aspects of Asmaa's life may easily be
forgotten, then her final meeting with her son, Abdullah, must
remain one of the most unforgettable moments in early Muslim
history. At that meeting she demonstrated the keenness of her
intelligence, her resoluteness and the strength of her faith.
Abdullah was in the running for the Caliphate after the death of
Yazid ibn Mu'awiyah. The Hijaz, Egypt, Iraq, Khurasan and much
of Syria were favourable to him and acknowledged him as the
Caliph. The Ummayyads however continued to contest the Caliphate
and to field a massive army under the command of Al-Hajjaj ibn
Yusuf ath-Thaqafi. Relentless battles were fought between the
two sides during which Abdullah ibn az-Zubayr displayed great
acts of courage and heroism. Many of his supporters however
could not withstand the continuous strain of battle and
gradually began to desert him. Finally he sought refuge in the
Sacred Mosque at Makkah. It was then that he went to his mother,
now an old blind woman, and said:
"Peace be on you, Mother, and the mercy and blessings of God."
"Unto you be peace, Abdullah," she replied. "What is it that
brings you here at this hour while boulders from Hajjaj's
catapults are raining down on your soldiers in the Haram and
shaking the houses of Makkah?" "I came to seek your advice," he
"To seek my advice?" she asked in astonishment. "About what?"
"The people have deserted me out of fear of Hajjaj or being
tempted by what he has to offer. Even my children and my family
have left me. There is only a small group of men with me now and
however strong and steadfast they are they can only resist for
an hour or two more. Messengers of the Banu Umayyah (the
Umayyads) are now negotiating with me, offering to give me
whatever wordly possessions I want, should I lay down my arms
and swear allegiance to Abdul Malik ibn Marwan. What do you
Raising her voice, she replied:
"It's your affair, Abdullah, and you know yourself better. If
however you think that you are right and that you are standing
up for the Truth, then persevere and fight on as your companions
who were killed under your flag had shown perseverance. If
however you desire the world, what a miserable wretch you are.
You would have destroyed yourself and you would have destroyed
"But I will be killed today, there is no doubt about it."
"That is better for you than that you should surrender yourself
to Hajjaj voluntarily and that some minions of Banu Umayyah
should play with your head."
"I do not fear death. I am only afraid that they will mutilate
"There is nothing after death that man should be afraid of.
Skinning does not cause any pain to the slaughtered sheep."
Abdullah's face beamed as he said:
"What a blessed mother! Blessed be your noble qualities! I have
come to you at this hour to hear what I have heard. God knows
that I have not weakened or despaired. He is witness over me
that I have not stood up for what I have out of love for this
world and its attractions but only out of anger for the sake of
God. His limits have been transgressed. Here am I, going to what
is pleasing to you. So if I am killed, do not grieve for me and
commend me to God."
"I shall grieve for you," said the ageing but resolute Asmaa,
"only if you are killed in a vain and unjust cause."
"Be assured that your son has not supported an unjust cause, nor
committed any detestable deed, nor done any injustice to a
Muslim or a Dhimmi and that there is nothing better in his sight
than the pleasure of God, the Mighty, the Great. I do not say
this to exonerate myself. God knows that I have only said it to
make your heart firm and steadfast. "
"Praise be to God who has made you act according to what He
likes and according fo what I like. Come close to me, my son,
that I may smell and feel your body for this might be the last
meeting with you."
Abdullah knelt before her. She hugged him and smothered his
head, his face and his neck with kisses. Her hands began to
squeeze his body when suddenly she withdrew them and asked:
"What is this you are wearing, Abdullah?"
"This is my armour plate."
"This, my son, ls not the dress of one who desires martyrdom.
Take it off. That will make your movements lighter and quicker.
Wear instead the sirwal (a long under garment) so that if you
are killed your 'awrah will not be exposed.
Abdullah took off his armour plate and put on the sirwal. As he
left for the Haram to join the fighting he said:
"My mother, don't deprive me of your dada (prayer)."
Raising her hands to heaven, she prayed:
"O Lord, have mercy on his staying up for long hours and his
loud crying in the darkness of the night while people slept . .
"O Lord, have mercy on his hunger and his thirst on his journeys
from Madinah and Makkah while he fasted . . .
"O Lord, bless his righteousness to his mother and his father .
"O Lord, I commend him to Your cause and I am pleased with
whatever You decree for him. And grant me for his sake the
reward of those who are patient and who persevere."
By sunset, Abdullah was dead. Just over ten days later, his
mother joined him. She was a hundred years old. Age had not
made her infirm nor blunted the keenness of her mind.