Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
|Friend falling off track|
|12/27/01 at 01:52:12|
A friend of mine, has committed some acts, which neither him nor I are
proud of. He has become involved with a female whom he goes to
university with. They have not had any sexual intercourse; Alhamdulillah; but
have fondled with each other, on several occasions.
My obvious reaction was dismay. I was shocked to find out about his
behaviour. Unfortunately, we live in two different countries, and I'm
not able to help him anymore then giving him advice. I have asked him to
stay away from the girl, and make sure he is never alone with her,
under [i]any[/i] circumstances. I've also asked him to fast if possible,
and tell her to stay away as well from him.
I'm extermely concerned about him. I don't know what else to do, to
help him out. He is my best friend, and to see him falling off the track
of Allah, hurts me deeply. He is also wanting to stop; but says it's
hard. I know it is his hormones going out of control. I personally
think it is because of him being away from home.
In all the years I've known him, something like this has never
happened. What I'm looking for is just some nasiha, on something I have not
thought of to tell him. Anything will be greatly appreciated. Thank
you, in advance.
|Re: Friend falling off track|
|12/27/01 at 16:19:45|
|As Salamu Alayka,|
Maintaining a friendship across large distances can be very telling and trying. If you are too insistent on him/her doing something they do not want to do, i.e. not committing zina, or conducting themselves with adab, they may just avoid the phone calls when they need most the advice and encouragement towards right conduct. Try to be subtle and non-chalante (sp?) about it. Also, do not let him/her get to thinking that it is o.k. to involve you in hearing about their escapades. While you may be trying to be a good friend and lending an ear, your listening to his/her misadventures may wind up being taken as a tacit complicity. Also, if you have other mutual friends, do not listen to or engage in spreading these things around, as this may come in between yourself and your friend, preventing you from further assisting him/her back to the Siratal Mustaqim.
Hope this helps, and may Allah Subhana Wa T'alla guide all the Muslim/ah.
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