Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
|To beware of suspicion|
|08/30/01 at 04:28:29|
|Assalamu Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh|
[center]To beware of suspicion
Dr Muhammad Kamal Al-Shareef[/center]
An important cause of irritation is to feel that a particular person is trying to deceive us or to take us for a ride. With such a feeling one thinks, "Had this person given me due respect, and had he not felt that I am naive, he would not have tried to deceive me or lie to me." All this is true. It is difficult to imagine a person trying to deceive or lie to another person whom he respects and reveres. He would first look at him with contempt before he would think of deceiving him.
This, however, does not apply to children. A child under 12 years' of age does not understand respect and contempt in the way these feelings and attitudes are perceived by adults. These are beyond his ability to grasp fully. Hence, when a child lies to an adult or tries to deceive him, his behavior does not indicate disrespect or contempt. He only thinks of his action as a means to evade punishment for some mischief he might have perpetrated, or to get what he wants. Hence, when his trick is successful and he feels that his lie was undiscovered, he feels happy and elated. His success gives him a sense of power which makes him happy.
When an adult falls for a trick by a child or believes a lie he said, he may think that the child holds him in contempt unless he realizes that the child has not yet fully grasped the meanings of respect and disrespect. Therefore he is extremely irritated by the child's behavior and tries to punish him severely. He may try to justify his severity by assuring himself that the child has committed a sinful offense and must be punished in a way which is certain to deter him from repeating his action. He thus overlooks his keen desire for revenge, sure as he is that the child has insulted him very badly.
To suspect that the person trying to deceive us has no respect for us is reasonable, provided that the person concerned is an adult and of sound mind. Nevertheless, we must not build our judgment on suspicion. We should be careful and cautious. It is wrong to deal with a person as though we are absolutely certain that he aims to deceive us, or that he has little respect for us. A believer does not allow suspicion to dictate his attitude.
The Prophet says: "Beware of suspicion, for suspicion is the worst of lies." (Related by Al-Bukhari).
Should we ascertain that a person is trying to deceive us, we should restrain ourselves and forbear, praising God for not enabling that person's deception to be successful. This is a far better attitude than allowing our anger to get the better of us. However, we should be cautious in order not to allow such a person to try again. The Prophet says: "A believer does not fall in the same trap twice." Related by Muslim).
A similar case of irritation leading to a feeling of humiliation which requires retaliation is that which occurs when a woman suspects her husband of infidelity. She is certain to be very strongly irritated as a result of feeling deceived, fearing that her position among her friends and acquaintances is compromised. She is always thinking what the other woman may say about her and how she looks at her as a fool, unaware of the fact that she is deceived. The same applies in the case of a husband, whose jealousy leads to a suspicion that his wife may be unfaithful.
When a believer is certain that his or her spouse is guilty of sinful practice, he or she are irritated, first and foremost, because those whom they love have transgressed the boundaries set by God, allowing themselves to fall in sin. Moreover, believers do not readily succumb to unjustified suspicion. The Prophet says: "Certain aspects of jealousy are approved by God, while others He dislikes. The one He dislikes is that based on unjustified suspicion."
A Muslim always gives his brothers the benefit of the doubt and thinks the better of them. Although this may lead him eventually to being deceived in some cases, but such occasional deception is better for him than being always suspicious. The point is that it maintains the purity of his thoughts. A suspicious person holds everyone else as suspect, unworthy of trust. Hence he is unable to build a secure and friendly relationship with anyone. How is it possible to love someone whom you fear to be treacherous, putting yourself always on guard?
[i]"Islam in Perspective" - Arab News - 25 September 2000[/i]
Wassalamu Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh
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