Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
|[AKHWAT] Top Ten Excuses Of Muslim Women Who Don't Wear Hijaab and Discussion|
|08/18/01 at 03:51:13|
Here is an article I came across and I thought it was really interesting. I decided to post it since a few weeks ago, someone had posted a message-"Aren't we all supposed to be equal" and there have also been some other posts regarding hijab. This article doesn't address that question particularly, but it's in reference to women who don't wear the hijab and I thought you all would think it's interesting too.
The Top Ten Excuses Of Muslim Women Who Don't Wear Hijaab And Their Obvious Weakness
By Dr. Huwayda Ismaeel
Rendered into English from Al-Bayaan Magazine
Get on the train of repentance my sister, before it passes by your station. Deeply consider my sister, what is happening today before tomorrow comes. Think, my sister - starting now.
All praise is due to Allah ta'aala as is deserved by His Majesty and Great Power. I send prayers and ask for blessings upon His Noble Messenger who drew the path for us to the pleasure of Allah and His Jannah. This path is a straight one that is surrounded by virtue from all sides and attends to the best moral characteristics which are increased by the clothing of purity, concealment, and chastity. It is the path trod by the two halves of human society, namely the man and the woman, toward harmonious contentment and happiness in this life and the Hereafter.
This is precisely why the Protector, the blessed and above all imperfection, has made wearing hijaab (see this month's As-Sunnah Article) an obligation upon the woman as a safeguard of her chastity and protection of her honor and sign of her faith (Eemaan). It is on account of this that societies (both Muslim and non-Muslim) that have distanced themselves from the way of Allah and deviated from His straight path, are ill societies in need of treatment that will lead them to recovery and happiness.
Among the pictures that point to the distance of society from that path and that make clear the level of its deviation and separation from it is the open spread of women not just uncovering their faces but enhancing and making a display of their beauty. We find that this is manifested regretfully, in Islamic (Muslim) society despite that Islamic clothing is also widespread. So then, what are the reasons that have led to this digression?
We put this question to a varied group of women from whom we derived ten major excuses and upon examination and scrutiny, the frailty of the excuses became evident to us.
Stay with us dear Muslim sister in these few lines so that we can know through them the reasons for turning away from the hijaab and then discuss each.
Excuse One: I'm not yet convinced (of the necessity) of hijaab.
We then ask this sister two questions.
One: Is she truly convinced of the correctness of the religion of Islam? The natural answer is: Yes she is convinced for she responds "Laa ilaaha illallah!" (There is no god but Allah), meaning she is convinced of the aqeedah, and then she says: "Muhammadun rasoolullah!" (Muhammad is the Messenger of Allah), meaning by that that she is convinced of its legislation or law (sharee'ah). Therefore, she is convinced of Islam as a belief system and a law by which one governs and rules their life.
Two: Is the hijaab then a part of Islamic Law (sharee'ah) and an obligation?
If this sister is honest and sincere in her intention and has looked into the issue as one who truly wants to know the truth her answer could only be: Yes. For Allah ta'aala, Whose deity (Uloohiyyah) she believes in has commanded wearing hijaab in His Book (Al-Qur'aan) and the noble Prophet ('alaihi salaat wa salaam) whose message she believes in has commanded wearing the hijaab in his sunnah.
What do we call a person who says they believe in and are content with the correctness of Islam but who nonetheless does not do what Allah or His Messenger have ordered? Certainly they can in no way
be described as those whom Allah speaks of in this aayah: The only saying of the faithful believers when they are called to Allah and His Messenger to judge between them is that they say 'we hear and
obey' and such are the successful. [Soorah An-Noor 24:51]
In summary: If this sister is convinced of Islam, how then can she not be convinced of its orders?
Excuse Two: I am convinced of Islamic dress but my mother prevents me from wearing it and if I disobey her I will go to the Fire.
The one who has answered this excuse is the most noble of Allah's creation, the Messenger of Allah (sallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam) in concise and comprehensive words of wisdom: There is no obedience to
the created in the disobedience of Allah.[Ahmed]
The status of parents in Islam, especially the mother, is a high and elevated one. Indeed Allah ta'aala has combined it with the greatest of matters, worshipping Him and His tawheed, in many aayaat.
He stated: Worship Allah and join none with Him and do good to parents. [Soorah An-Nisaa 4:36] Obedience to parents is not limited except in one aspect, and that is if they order to disobedience of
Allah. Allah said: But if they strive with you to make you join in worship with Me others that of which you have no knowledge, then obey them not. [Soorah Luqmaan 31:15] The lack of obedience to them
in sinfulness does not prevent being good to them and kind treatment of them. Allah said afterward in the same aayah: But behave with them in the world kindly.
In summary: How can you obey your mother and disobey Allah, Who created you and your mother?
Excuse Three: My position does not allow me to substitute my dress for Islamic dress.
This sister is either one or the other of two types: She is sincere and honest, or she is a slippery liar who desires to make a showy display of her "hijaab" clamoring with colors to be "in line with
the times" and expensive.
We will begin with an answer to the honest and sincere sister. Are you unaware my dear sister, that it is not permissible for the Muslim woman to leave her home in any instance unless her clothing meets the conditions of Islamic hijaab (Hijaab shar'ee) and it is a duty of every Muslim woman to know what they are? If you have taken the time and effort to learn so many matters of this world how then can you be neglectful of learning those matters which will save you from the punishment of Allah and His anger after death!!? Does Allah not say: Ask the people of remembrance (i.e. knowledgeable scholars) if you do not know. [Soorah An-Nahl 16:43]. Learn therefore, the requirements of proper hijaab.
If you must go out, then do not do so without the correct hijaab, seeking the pleasure of Allah and the degradation of Shaitaan. That is because the corruption brought about by your going out adorned and "beautified" is far greater than the matter which you deem necessary to go out for.
My dear sister if you are really truthful in your intention and correctly determined you will find a thousands hands of good assisting you and Allah will make the matter easy for you! Is He not the One Who says: And whoever fears Allah and keeps his duty to Him, He will make a way for him to get out (from every difficulty) and He will provide him from sources he never could imagine [Soorah At-Talaaq 65:2-3]?
With regards to the 'slippery' one we say: Honor and position is something determined by Allah ta'aala and it is not due to embellishment of clothing and show of colors and keeping up with the trendsetters. It is rather due to obedience to Allah and His Messenger (sallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam) and holding to the pure law of Allah and correct Islamic hijaab. Listen to the words of Allah: Indeed, the most honorable amongst you are those who are the most pious. [Soorah Al-Hujuraat 49:35]
In summary: Do things in the way of seeking Allah's pleasure and entering His Jannah and give less value to the high priced and costly objects and wealth of this world.
Excuse Four: It is so very hot in my country and I can't stand it. How could I take it if I wore the hijaab?
Allah gives an example by saying: Say: The Fire of Hell is more intense in heat if they only understand. [Soorah At-Taubah 9:81]
How can you compare the heat of your land to the heat of the Hellfire?
Know, my sister, that Shaitaan has trapped you in one of his feeble ropes to drag you from the heat of this world to the heat of the Hellfire. Free yourself from his net and view the heat of the sun as a favor and not an affliction especially in that it reminds you of the intensity of the punishment of Allah which is
many times greater than the heat you now feel. Return to the order of Allah and sacrifice this worldly comfort in the way of following the path of salvation from the Hellfire about which Allah says: They will neither feel coolness nor have any drink except that of boiling water and the discharge of dirty wounds.
[Soorah An-Naba' 78:24-25]
In summary: The Jannah is surrounded by hardships and toil, while Hellfire is surrounded by temptations, lusts and desires.
Excuse Five: I'm afraid that if I wear the hijaab I will put it off at another time because I have seen so many others do so!!
To her I say: If everyone was to apply your logic then they would have left the Deen in its entirety! They would have left off salaat because some would be afraid of leaving it later. They would have left fasting in Ramadhan because so many are afraid of not doing it later, etc. Haven't you seen how Shaitaan has trapped you in his snare again and blocked you from guidance?
Allah ta'aala loves continuous obedience even if it be small or recommended. How about something that is an absolute obligation like wearing hijaab?! The prophet (sallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam) said: The most beloved deed with Allah is the consistent one though it be little.Why haven't you sought out the causes leading those people to leave off the hijaab so that you can avoid them and work to keep away from them? Why haven't you sought out reasons and causes to affirm truth and guidance until you can hold firm to them?
Among these causes is much supplication to Allah (du'aa) to make the heart firm upon the Deen as did the prophet (sallallahu 'alaihi wa sallam). Also is making salaat and having mindfulness of it as Allah stated: And seek help in patience and the prayer and truly it is extremely heavy except for the true believers in Allah who obey Allah with full submission and believe in His promise of Jannah and in His warnings (Al-Khaashi'oon). [Soorah Al-Baqarah 2:45] Other causes to put one upon guidance and truth is adherence to the laws of Islam and one of them is indeed wearing the hijaab. Allah said: If they had done what they were told, it would have been better for them and would have strengthened their faith.
[Soorah Al-Baqarah 2:66]
In summary: If you hold tight to the causes of guidance and taste the sweetness of faith you will not neglect the orders of Allah after having held to them.
Excuse Six: If I wear the hijaab then nobody will marry me, so I'm going to leave it off until then.
Any husband who desires that you be uncovered and adorned in public in defiance of and in disobedience to Allah, is not a worthy husband in the first place. He is a husband who has no feeling to protect what Allah has made inviolable, most notably yourself, and he will not help you in any way to enter Al-Jannah or escape from the Hellfire. A home which is founded upon disobedience to Allah and
provocation of His anger is fitting that He decree misery and hardship for it in this life and in the Hereafter. As Allah stated: But whosoever turns away from My reminder (i.e. neither believes in the Qur'aan nor acts upon its teachings) verily for him is a life of hardship and We shall raise him up blind on the Day of Resurrection. [Soorah Ta Ha 20:124]
Marriage is a favor and blessing from Allah to whom He give whom He wills. How many women who wear hijaab (mutahajibah) are in fact married while many who don't aren't? If you were to say that
'..my being made-up and uncovered is a means to reach a pure end, namely marriage', a pure goal or end is not attained through impure and corrupt means in Islam. If the goal is honorable then it must necessarily be achieved by pure and clean method. We say the rule in Islam is: The means are according to the rules of the intended goals.
In summary: There is no blessing in a marriage established upon sinfulness and corruption.
Excuse Seven: I don't wear hijaab based on what Allah says: And proclaim the grace of your Rabb [Soorah Ad-Dhuhaa 93:11] How can I cover what Allah has blessed me with of silky soft hair and captivating beauty?
So this sister of ours adheres to the Book of Allah and its commands as long as they coincide with her personal desires and understanding! She leaves behind those matters when they don't please her. If this was not the case, then why doesn't she follow the aayah: And do not show off their adornment except only that which is apparent [Soorah An-Noor 24:31] and the statement of Allah subhaanah: Tell your wives and your daughters and the women of the believers to draw their cloaks all over their bodies [Soorah Al-Ahzaab 33:59]?
With this statement my sister you have now made a shari'ah (law) for yourself of what Allah ta'aala has strictly forbidden, namely beautification (at-tabarruj) and uncovering (as-sufoor), and the reason: Your lack of wanting to adhere to the order. The greatest blessing or favor that Allah has bestowed upon us is that of Eemaan (faith) and hidaayah (guidance) and among them is the Islamic hijaab. Why then do you not manifest and talk about this greatest of blessings given to you?
In summary: Is there a greater blessing and favor upon the woman than guidance and hijaab?
Excuse Eight: I know that hijaab is obligatory (waajib), but I will wear it when Allah guides me to do so.
We ask this sister on what plans or steps she will undertake until she accepts this divine guidance? We know that Allah has in His wisdom made a cause or means for everything. That is why the sick take medicine to regain health, and the traveler rides a vehicle or an animal to reach his destination, and other limitless examples.
Has this sister of ours seriously endeavored to seek true guidance and exerted the proper means to get it such as: Supplicating Allah sincerely as He stated: Guide us to the Straight Path. [Soorah Al-Faatihah 1:6]; Keeping company with the righteous good sisters - for they are among the best to assist her to guidance and to continue to point her to it until Allah guides her and increases her guidance and inspires her to further guidance and taqwaa. She would then adhere to the orders of Allah and wear the hijaab that the believing women are commanded to wear.
In summary: If this sister was really serious about seeking guidance she would have exerted herself by the proper means to get it.
Excuse Nine: It's not time for that yet. I'm still too young for wearing hijaab. I'll do it when I get older and after I make Hajj!
The Angel of Death my sister, is visiting and waiting at your door for the order of Allah ta'aala to open it on you at any moment in your life. Allah said: When their term comes, neither can they delay it nor can they advance it and hour (or a moment). [Soorah Al-An'aam 7:34]. Death my sister doesn't discriminate between the young or the old and it may come while you are in this state of great sinfulness disobedience, fighting against the Lord of Honor with your uncovering and shameless adornment. My sister, you should race to obedience along with those others who race to answer the call of Allah tabaaraka wa ta'aala: Race with one another in hastening towards forgiveness from your Lord and Paradise the width whereof is as the width of the heavens and the earth. [Soorah Al-Hadeed 57:21]
Sister, don't forget Allah or He will forget you by turning His mercy away from you in this life and the next. You are forgetting your own soul by not fulfilling the right of your soul to obey Allah and proper worship of Him. Allah stated about the hypocrites (Al-Munaafiqoon): And be not like those who forgot Allah and He caused them to forget their own selves. [Soorah Al-Hashr 59:19] My sister wear the hijaab in your young age in opposition to the sinful deed because Allah is intense in punishment and will ask
you on the Day of Resurrection about your youth and every moment of your life.
In summary: Stop presuming some future expectation in your life will indeed occur!! How can you guarantee your own life until tomorrow?
Excuse Ten: I'm afraid that if I wear Islamic clothing that I'll be labeled as belonging to some group or another and I hate partisanship.
My sister in Islam, there are only two parties in Islam, and they are both mentioned by Allah Almighty in His Noble Book. The first party is the party of Allah (hizbullah) that He gives victory to because of their obedience to His commands and staying away from what He has forbidden. The second party is the party of the accursed Shaitaan (hizbush-Shaitaan) which disobeys the Most Merciful and increase corruption in the earth. When you hold tight to and adhere to the commands of Allah, and among them is wearing the hijaab - you then become a part of the successful party of Allah. When you beautify and display your charms you are riding in the boat of Shaitaan and his friends and partners from among the hypocrites and the disbelievers and none worse could there be as friends.
Don't you see how you are running from Allah and to the Shaitaan, trading filth for good? Run instead my sister to Allah and follow His way: So flee to Allah (from His Torment to His mercy). Verily I (Muhammad) am a plain warner to you from Him. [Soorah Adh-Dhaariyaat 51:50] The hijaab is a high form of worship that is not subject to the opinions of people and their orientations and choices because the one who legislated it is the Most Wise Creator.
In summary: In the way of seeking the pleasure of Allah and in hope of His Mercy and success in His Jannah and throw the statements of the devils among people and jinn against the wall! Hold tight to the legislation of Allah by your molars and follow the example of the striving and knowledgeable Mothers of the Believers and the female companions (radiallahu 'anhum ajma'een).
Your body is on display in the market of Shaitaan seducing the hearts of men.The hairstyles, the tight clothing showing every detail of your figure, the short dresses showing off your legs and feet, the showy, decorative and fragrant clothing all angers the Merciful and pleases the Shaitaan. Every day that passes while you are in this condition, distances you further from Allah and brings you closer to Shaitaan. Each day curses and anger are directed toward you from the heavens until you repent. Every day brings you closer to the grave and the Angel of Death is ready to capture your soul.
Everyone shall taste death. And only on the Day of Resurrection shall you be paid your wages in full. And whoever is removed away from the Hellfire and admitted to Al-Jannah, is indeed successful. The life of this world is only the enjoyment of deception (a deceiving thing). [Soorah Aale 'Imraan 3:185]
Get on the train of repentance my sister, before it passes by your station. Deeply consider my sister, what is happening today before tomorrow comes. Think about it, my sister - Now, before it is too late!
|Re: [ARTICLE] Top Ten Excuses Of Muslim Women Who Don't Wear Hijaab and Discussi|
|08/18/01 at 03:31:47|
Wow, what a great article. I know I've thought some of those and have heard those exact words come out of sister's mouths.
I wonder if they'd mind if I changed the style of the wording a bit and added it to the sisters page?
What not to say to someone who doesn;t wear hijab
Whilst some sisters may need that little "push" to take the plunge, for others it's a longer and more delicate process. A part-time hijabi I know was confronted by someone who has recently put on hijab; this lady told her "If you can;t wear it all the time, why bother at all?!" Result: no hijab and a lot of hurt feelings. Knowing whether the "push" will have the desired effect or the opposite effect is not easy, it's a very fine line and what will work in one case will be disastrous in another. This is a learning curve for me too in my feeble da'wah attempts. May Allah grant us wisdom and patience in dealing with our sisters who, after all, are only human
While I appreciate a sister's efforts to wear hijab, there's no such thing as a "part time hijabi"-we're Muslimeen full time-that means we practice Islam FULL TIME! I really do appreciate the article because it shows that women just make excuses, excuses, excuses! I can definitely understand a sister who has just reverted to Islam and since it's a whole new way of life for her (especially if she lives in the West)-it may take her some time and learning to understand the importance, beauty and concept of hijab-it would be an evolutionary process-but how come these sisters who were lucky enough to have been raised in Muslim families all their life and have been lucky enough to witness Islam everyday for years-come up with these PITIFUL excuses!!!!! and then, walk around not even in slightly modest clothes, and then saying they really do wish they could wear the hijab. One sister came up to me at my university and I never would have imagined she was Muslim-her hair looked like she walked out of a beauty salon-after being there for a few hours, she was wearing bright red lipstick, tons of makeup, tight jeans, high-heeled shoes, and a low cut shirt that showed all her cleavage...and then she said to me, "I really respect you for wearing the hijab. I really want to wear it but my mother thinks I will just take it off later if I commit to it now". OH PUH-LEEZE! If this sister really wanted to wear hijab-at THE LEAST, she doesn't have to dress so seductively.
Muslims all over the world are dying-being killed, tortured and raped-because our Ummah today does not know how to stick to Islamic principles-if we did, we would be more united in our efforts and could defeat anyone. A principle so simple such as "hijab" is a huge deal now-that's REALLY sad. For Muslim women, hijab should be instinctual, a natural part of our modesty. May Allah guide us all.
I agree sister,
what I do not understand is this concept of the semi-hijab that many pakistani and even oriental muslim women have- hijab is hijab and needs to be properly observed- for example many women in malaysia think its ok to wear hijab with short skirt and low cut tops, and many of them didnt even bother wearing the hijab (!!!) -they have to learn that hijab is absolutely required and the way for them to wear it needs to be shown to them!!
jazakallah khairan brother for your comments-
But its true, I have observed many of the pakistani and especially oriental girls (who claim to be muslim) wish to wear cloth that is unislamic- (I even seen indonesia women wearing crosses but they saying they muslim) and they have no excuse because of course Quran and hadeeth is translated to English language now so these girl can read it- but then if we try to teach them (pakistani and oriental) they got attitude to us Arab people-
brother thanks for that because we need our people to stand out and speak out about these type of semi-muhajjabbat,
i'm confused. why are we picking on 2 nationalities of muslimahs? if it's just about culture or not knowing arabic, think again, b/c even some of our arab sisters don't wear hijaab or wear it correctly!
i don't mean to offend, i'm just not quite understanding how we can say only 1-2 cultures don't correctly observe an islamic practice.
just in terms of hijaab-
first thing's first, we all have to learn how to wear hijaab properly (women, that is, but i guess you bros should be sure you're dressed modestly as well), which isn't just about a piece of cloth on your head. in it's literal sense (from the Quran), we should cover our head AND chest with our head covering. that also means we have to cover our shape. i've seen one too many sister wearing hijab with tight pants/shirts, taking away from the whole modesty thing...sure, your head's modest, but what about the rest of you???
and what about our own internal struggles in modestly dealing w/ ppl on a daily basis?
and puhleez, refrain from judging those sisters who have not yet started to wear the hijaab or do not wear it correctly yet. that's when we are tested with the ability to help our sisters out! and Allah is the best of Helpers.
I have a confession to make. I don't wear hijab full time.
When I go to my mom's house, I don't wear it. There aren't always people there in front of whom I need to cover, but sometimes there are. My husband doesn't say anything, but he does roll his eyes.
I feel really bad about this, especially since my children are old enough now to ask questions about it. But my mom makes such a deal out of it as it is. "Here's my daughter, the good muslim. Isn't it nice of her to visit her godless old mother?" (My mom is an atheist, in case you were wondering.)
You know, she's really good about the other stuff; no alcohol or pork when my family and I come over. But MAN! Does she give me a hard time about the scarf.
Well, you know, it feels kind of good to get this off my chest, even though I'm ashamed of it. Maybe you guys can pray for me to get a spine where my mother is concerned. I'd really appreciate it. It's a real weak spot for me.
alsalamu alaykum wa rhmat Allah wa barakatuhu
i totally agree....in fact after reading this thread...today i went and kinda talked bout it with some sis's....(no offence to all but we're supposed to encourage each other instead of judge?..)
first and foremost hijab is obligatory alhamdulillah...but if u see a sis who doesn't wear hijab or is wearing it part-time.....from what we discussed...the worst thing u can do is scold them or tell them u 'should know better'...thats da worst.....
the key thing is encouraging the sis..and an important point-if a sis is dressing seductively and says she wishes she could wear hijab-well then u know she's at least aware of its peacefulness and that for someone to dress non-islamically there really might be a lot missing in her life in terms knowledge about the deen and maybe insecurity in the heart.......
i didn start wearing hijab until bout a yr ago....sure i knew it was fard and i did want to wear it but i also knew i wasn't much of a good muslim....i didn pray all the time etc....and i knew there was noooo way i was gonna wear hijab unless i was at least doing the basics..
after all Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala does say in the qur'an for women to wear hijab to identify themselves as muslims-i didn't want to be a walking fake........(not that putting hijab on didn't help me grow more)..its not a good feeling if u feel fake to urself-regardless of what others may think
sure everytime i would go out i would feel guilty..and i always wish i had started wearing hijab sooner....but when it comes down to it...its hedaya from Allah ta'ala that gives a sis the edge to begin hijab stylin...if u push u could push too hard and ba-bye muslimah..it happens ok?!......
even now i know sis's who talk to me and say they want to wear hijab and they're trying but for one reason- they really don't feel 'welcome' in muslim groups cuz they feel like hijabi's see them as lower beings...thats NOT fair .....everyone is equal and Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala is the Only One Who knows whats in everyone's hearts
i know many muslim sis's who don't wear hijab but are shining examples of muslims but still feel inferior ......and u know why?....its not cuz they don't want to be strong....its the shytan (a'otho billah)....that stuffs every reason possible into their heads to stay away from 'ibada.......
i guess what am trying to say......the intention is good-it should be nourished...
..another thing.....its true..many muslim girls(including myself) were born into a muslim family..but not every muslim family actually functions the way it should......not every muslim is brought up to be a worshipping muslim or at least they might have not had access to a real muslim environment.....-sometimes when us sis's sit at the da'wah table at our uni, people say to us that islam seems right to u beacuse u were born into it.....we answer ya maybe partly but we all have gone through times in our lives when we have to search and actually understand our beliefs ..even Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala asks us to do so..
and so am sure everyone can agree that not all muslims are at the same level of iman...
i know this msg is getting long so i'll sum it up
with something that a sis said at the end of the conversation.....these days muslims put too much emphasis on the outward appearance instead of the inner strength..when it comes down to it ..its all about jihad ilnafs(struggle with one's self)...
learn how to do dawah ppl!
I totally agree with you sis, and others. The key is dawah. Allah tells us to invite to people in the best way, but I've seen tooo many muslims butcher this. Telling a sister hey you should cover because it's fard isn't going to help one bit. Especially if she doesn't know you. This only helps perpetuate a stereotype of the other side: that hijabi's think they're better than non-hijabi's and this whole thought process will only push her further from islam.
I have yet to meet the perfect muslimah. I definitely am not myself. I did not wear hijab until the beginning of my third year in college.
I was however Islamically active for a long time and did wear hijab sometimes, ie at the mosque, at msa functions etc.
Today I see brothers discluding non-hijabi sisters from being on the board of msa's, If anyone had done that at the time I was non-hijabi I can guarantee that I wouldn't be where I am today.
Why can't muslims encourage each other instead of beating each other over the head with fiqh rules?
sigh frustrated in ny
assalamalum wa rahmatallah everyone
I do agree with sis and Huma. Although, I do think that Muslims can be overly sensitive sometimes too. I also agree with how someone said that hijab is not taken seriously enough. We should be able to tell one another when we see them doing something wrong-this was the instinctual way of the sahaba and the corrected never got so upset as people do today. And didn't the Prophet, sallahoo alaiyhee wa salam, say, "if you see something wrong, fix it with your hand, then with your tongue, and if you can't do that, fix it with your heart, and that is the weakest of faith". Ideally, we should all adhere to this ideaology and be happy about it (saying Alhamdullillah when someone guides/corrects us instead of getting upset)-but this is not the place to start with our Ummah because our hearts are so sick and so-we need to first purify them before we can reach such a level of iman that we guide each other correctly, peacefully, and with appreciation.
Actually, my situation was quite different from Huma's. I didn't wear hijab in the first few years of attending university but I would attend conferences & Islamic functions. I had Muslim friends-and NOT wearing hijab made me feel like such a hypocrate. I was listening to all these beautiful lectures by, mashaAllah, admirable scholars and I KNEW the truth, I KNEW that I should be wearing hijab all along. I saw my Muslim sisters and I admired them so much, mashaAllah. I was subtly (not completely) rejected by my MSA, but I didn't blame them! I knew I was not a good example of a Muslim woman and I was not reperesenting Islam. These feelings cast enormous guilt on me and so I think, these circumstances paved a path for me to committing myself to the hijab-ALhamdullillah!
A little side track here-I will never forget the first day I "officially" wore hijab-sweaty palms, racing heart, the feeling like EVERYONE under the sun was just piercing holes through me with their stares-the WAITING for people to come up to me to ask, "Why are you WEARING THAT THING?" (of course, no one did)- but SOUBHANALLAH!-how hijab empowered me-is indescribable!
MashaAllah sis Hoda,
why is it that these muslim girls always looking for excuse not weraing hijab- why dont they just stop looking for excuse and start covering in the correct way?
I will always correct such women if I see them and I dont care about there opinion because its my duty insha'llah!!
I just wanted to say, Sis Hoda, that I understand what you mean about the first time with hijab. I am not wearing hijab full time yet, astaghfirAllah, but insha Allah some day I will. I know, it's fard. I know I should do it. Believe me, I want to. But when I haven't even "come out of the closet" about being a Muslim to anyone in my family, and many of my friends, it is not the time yet for hijab. I have worn it many times, though. I wore it out with Sis Huma when she came to Cleveland, I wear it when I go out with another Muslim friend, I wear it sometimes with my friends in California, to the mosque, to pray, and all day on the first day of Eid.
The first time was with Huma...wow Sis, you can't even imagine how nervous I was. If you hadn't been there, hijabed, I don't think I could have done it. I was sure everyone was looking at me, and I was sooooo nervous. But when I wore it on Eid, I was proud to wear it...until I got to the airport. Don't get me wrong, I was still proud to have it on, and I am not ashamed to be a Muslim by any means, but there were a lot of people in the airport and on my plane, and like sis Hoda said, my palms were sweating. It's tough, and a lot of the brothers don't seem to get that. Here in America, hijab is not a regular sight, but I sure am proud of those hijabi sisters when I see them.
Thanks for listening, I felt like sharing my thoughts.... take care everyone.
alsalamu alaykum....i was just reading the 'aren't we supposed to be equal' thread..and it totally brings the point across...
one thing that was mentioned in that thread was that if ur gonna do something...u do it for Allah ta'ala.....
hijab is great and the wisdom behind it is great...
but i can understand it when a sis doesn't wear hijab because am pretty sure they're searching for the right intentions and strength....
and like huma said....dawah people.....invite people to the better way....there is no compulsion in religion-no forcing..its a job that every muslim try to ease the life of every other muslim....and help each other....something that we all gotta work on...
alsalamu alaykum wa rhmat Allah wa barakatuhu
Whilst your people are slaughtered in Chechnya you knock each other over the head- encourage each other in the ISLAMIC way with respect and not in the manner of the puritanical fake trinitarian 'christians' who incidentally have nothing to do with Christ or God-
Please (!) we need to respect each other or we will answer to Allah for that!
Wa-alaikum asslam wa rahmatullah dear Sister,
I?ve been following this thread from its inception, and? masha?Allah.
If you would permit me, I would make one slight clarification to your post.
The ayat in Surah al-Baqarah which talks about the issue of no compulsion in the Deen is actually- if you look to the asbab al-nuzool [cause of revelation]- referring to the non-Muslims. Many times we have a misconception that it applies to us too, but in fact it doesn?t. Such a misconception perpetuates the notion that it is acceptable to delay acting on a hukm of Allah (swt). This is dangerous. For it legitimisese the idea of ma?siyyah [disobedience], non-compliance and sin, by inculcating a sort of buffer-zone whereby we have time to become ready for a fard which Allah (swt) has emplaced upon us.
The conditions for taklif [legal responsibility] do not include readiness, wallahu a?lam [and Allah knows best]. To mention only some of the salient ones: sanity, maturity, understanding and capacity.
Now some Muslims use ahliyya [capacity] as a crutch when they feel they are not ready to fulfil a particular obligation, claiming it is beyond their capacity right now. No. Ahliyya refers to that which is beyond your capacity *as a human,* not out of not being ready.
Yes, it may a big step to wear the khimar and jilbaab. Yes it may result in communal ostracization. Taunts. Astonsihment. Mockery. Etc. But none of this detracts from the fact that non-compliance inurs sin. It is the marginalisation of this through the lack of emphasis on it, by focussing instead on *easier* areas like graduality, which allow tolerance of sin, and thereby an acceptance of it.
Note that the issue here is not to judge those who don?t wear hijab, for that resides with Allah (swt). Too often for some inexplicable reason, it seems as if a sister?s whole Deen is defined by her hijab. Astaghfirullah. Hijab is just one obligation of many. It is not the be all and end all. Once a sister adopts it, her job has not ended, as some brothers/sisters seem to think. I know of many Sisters who don?t wear hijab, but measure them against the obligation of parental obedience, and they leave others who do wear hijab, standing. Of course I?m not generalising, just making the point that wearing hijab should be kept in context. It does not guarantee ones Deen, or even their Iman.
But what it *does* mean is that non-compliance suggests that submitting to Allah (swt) is secondary to submitting to those reasons which are obstacles. That is not intended to be condescending, for of course some of those reasons can be so hard to overcome. And yes, each of us is at their own stage in their road to Allah (awj). But we should be careful to become reliant on Allah?s (swt) Mercy if we deliberately forsake Him (awj).
I remember once my cousin came to visit and brought her children. She took them out and treated tem to KFC, which here, is haram. Later on I asked her if she prayed for the welfare and prosperity of her children to Allah (swt), knowing that of course, like any mother, she would. It would most likely be the first part of her du?a. She replied that of course she did, always. So I asked her why she thought Allah (swt) would listen to her prayers when she deliberately and knowingly flouted His (awj) ahkam [rules]. She smiled knowingly. And I changed nothing.
There is a difference between being indifferent to sin and accepting you are guilty, yet doing nothing about it, and being guilty, but it bothering your conscience. One doesn?t care, and one does, even if the latter feels unable to counteract it. The point is the effort. To try. Sincerely.
Sometimes- and this is not directed at yourself- we act as if we understand *hikmah* [wisdom] to mean tolerance of the neglect of a fard/wajib. That in knowing that telling a sister to wear hijab will have no effect, it is better to coax her gently and give her time to adjust. To build her up, prepare her, mould her, in her uboodiyah [servitude]. Of course if someone disregards the shariah wrt to a specific rule, then it means that the relationship between the ?abd and Allah (swt) has not been formed yet properly, like the embryo which is yet to reach maturity. Yet the link remains, so despair should not set in having read these words.
The point is that allowing the delayal of a duty pre-supposes that death is far away, and so time is on our side. Whereas in reality, every prayer should be prayed as if it is the last. And likewsie every duty done as if it is the last time we might ever do it. Yet when graduality is crystallized within oneself, then it indicates that death is not at the forefront of our minds.
But of course one cannot hope to come on so strongly effectively with someone who isn?t ready, for if you could, then the problem wouldn?t be there in the first place, right?
It is somewhat of a catch-22, for whilst not being ready does not diminish the sin of not acting upon the wajib, telling someone what they already know does not work either. For if a person accepts they are sinful for not doing that which is fard, and yet still neglects that fard, their effort towards fulfilling it is only known to Allah (swt), and both they and He (swt) know the sincerity behind that effort.
The difference is that some of us, when in such a situation, still delude ourselves by being expectant of Allah?s (swt) forgivness and Mercy, and this leads to complacency, when in fact, at best, we are only entitled to be hopeful. And even that begins to erode if we perpetuate such ma?siyyah. All too frequently ?I can?t do this? is mistaken for ?I?m not?? Its not that you can?t, its that you won?t. Meaning free-will is involved, which in turn means accountability is everpresent. The weight of that alone is frightening.
I pray for all my Sisters that Allah (swt) facilitates their journey towards Him (swt) (and of course my brothers). Sorry if my words were harsh. It is only out of concern and care, even if that does not diminish any resultant chagrin. I smile at the thought that this is precisely what no one wanted to hear, and has maybe reinforced the perception that ?brothers just don?t get it.?
In which case, I?m sorry for my ineptitude and lack of perception.
alsalamu alaykum wa rhmat Allah wa barakatuhu
jazak Allah khayr bro...i learnt a lot from ur post... and ur right...jazak Allah khayr for clearing that up
i really don't want to say anymore because i don't want to make any more mistakes...although am sure i would be corrected alhamdulillah...
i hope what i say now can sum it up..yesterday some sis's and i were talking bout how people are approached is a big factor...for eg if u r
(a)telling someone that things are either halal or haram and if they don't fall into that category they're a kafir
(b) telling someone that there for example....taking the heart..there is a dead heart..a diseased heart and a healthy heart....the diseased heart meaning that which can be cured..
just from experiences with other sis's and soem bro's.....people are more likely to listen if u don't give them the 3rd degree and not make Islam seem so harsh by judging them...Islam is a simple religion alhamdulillah and all it takes is some effort..but honestly..many turn away if they aren't given a chance......people have a big influence on each other and its not the way of the rasul sal Allah alayhi wa sallam to push people away but to invite....would u accept an invitation if u didn't feel welcome? people who fall into this category mostly aren't strong in their deen and need to be shown the better way in all aspects of it
i think u understand the point about not pushing too hard and why....(what is fard must be done right away).. it is a fine line..
the best thing to do is set a good example and people won't feel so intimidated
ok once again..am pretty sure i wasn't clear and bro abu khaled..am sure u'll answer...but i hope u got the message of what am trying to say.....even though how am trying to say it is kinda cloudy..
also bro khaled..jazak Allah khayr..how we express ourselves and speak bout the deen is important and am really happy that ur making a point to help in showing and correcting the mistakes that have been made...may Allah reward u for ur good work
alsalamu alaykum wa rhmat Allah wa barkatuhu
ps...gradually or immediately?..immediately when the person knows its better
Wa-alaikum assalam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu dear Sister Sis,
?but i meant that at the time when Islam was being first taught by the prophet peace be upon him..everything was revealed in stages and at the times when the followers were strong or at least steady in what was revealed before hand..then more was revealed-pls correct me if i'm wrong.....?
What you have cited above is partly true, but I need to ensure that the perception you are applying is not the common one which is applied, with respect. Namely that *stages* equates to *gradually.* If this is what you are implying then it is not correct.
A number of us hold the perception that Islam was revealed gradually, and therfore it is okay to implement it gradually in our lives. This is a concept which remains unprecedented, for it never existed in the time of the Prophet (saw) and his (saw) Sahaba (raa), wallahu a?lam. Let us examine why, insha?Allah, and every success is through Him (awj) alone, of course:
1. The wahy [revelation] was indeed revealed in stages, upon specific situations, for specific reasons, at particular times. However, today *how it was revealed* seems to have been confused with *how it was implemented.*
Whilst the ayaat came at different times, they were *always* and *without fail* (wallahu a?lam) implemented *immediately,* without procrastination, wallahu a?lam.
The most infamous example which stands in bold and isolated oposition to this, in contemporary times, is that of the tahreem [prohibition] of khamr [intoxicants]. Many Muslims to this day hold that this was done gradually, when it wasn?t. It is not my intention to delve into this now- which obviously begs your trust upon me- but if needs be we can examine the asbab al-nuzool [causes of revelation] of the relevant ayaat concerning this issue, and also bring in the tafsir of Ibn Taymiyyah (ra) on the subject of clarification that the tahreen was *not* gradual, wallahu a?lam.
However, *let us just for argumenst sake* say it WAS (i.e. gradual), and also agree that so was the wahy of Islam in general. Then:
2. Neither forms a daleel [evidence] for gradual adoption of obligations. For neither is an asl [source] of law. And neither is a daleel, wallahu a?lam. Allow me to elaborate.
Just because khamr was prohibited gradually, how does that prove other rules can be adopted gradually too? And just because wahy came gradually how does that prove ahkam can be implemented gradually? To answer this we need to touch upon the definition of hukm shar?a [divine rule].
Hukm shar?a is defined as, ?the khitaab [address] of the legislator related to the acts of the individual?? (the rest of the definition is not important here)
What do we learn from this? That for a hukm to be a hukm, there needs to be a khitaab from the Legislator, i.e. from Allah (swt). Otherwise it cannot be a hukm.
Now, where is the khitaab in the gradual prohibition of khamr, or the gradual revelation of the Deen? There isn?t. So neither can be a daleel for the hukm of gradual implementation.
And let us be clear. *Any* action we do as insaan [humans] is governed by the ahkam shar?iah. If we do an action which isn?t linked to Islam, then we have essentially become legislators ourselves, for we have assigned a value-judgement to a course of action. In other words, and brace yourselves, for a Muslim to decide they will delay implementing a fard/wajib, they have in effect taken the jurisdiction of Allah (swt), in determining a course of action for themselves. In this case, it being that it is okay to implement Islam gradually (e.g. prayer 5 times a day, hijab, etc). That Allah (swt) has assigned a legal value of i?jab [obligation] to this amal [act] and by not adhering to it, you are in effect saying that the value you have assigned to that same act is above that of Allah?s (swt). Even if your words protest against your actual deeds. How shocking is that?
The next point is that ahkam are derived from adilla tafsiliyyah [detailed evidences] not adilla ijmaliyyah [general evidences]. Adilla tafsiliyyah, however, are based on adilla ijmaliyyah. Let me blow some of the sand away.
The Qur?an and Sunnah are examples of adilla ijmaliyyah. A specific ayat, or a specific hadith would be examples of adilla tafsiliyyah.
So if someone asked you, what is the daleel for hijab, you wouldn?t say ?the Qur?an.? Rather, you would quote the relevant ayat, for *that* is what forms the daleel. You see the point Sister?
That, even if we concede that khamr was prohibited gradually, or that Islam was revealed gradually, neither is adilla tafsilliyyah, and so neither constitutes a daleel for gradual adoption of ahkam.
This is quite an important subject, for such misconception prevails widely I think.
There are sufficient and plentiful dalail in the Qur?an and Sunnah which prove that immediate compliance is obligatory on Muslims, and non-compliance is not acceptable to Allah (swt). This is not being insensitive, for the Prophet (saw) said (wallahu a?lam), ?Whoseover speaks in order to please the people and he angers Allah, Allah will make the people angry with him. And whosoever speaks in order to please Allah, and he angers the people, Allah will make the people pleased with him.?
So the issue is to keep matters in their place, and not exceed the limits in trying to coax others to obey the amr [command] of Allah (awj). Yes it is a fine line, but one we must learn to walk, if we are not to displease Allah (swt) in our efforts not to distance his slaves from Islam out of a fear of *coming on too strong.* We must beware at all times that we too are accountable for *how* we conduct amr bi?l marouf wa nahy anil munkar [enjoining the right and forbidding the evil].
3. Finally, if we accede to the idea that Islam was revealed when then Muslims were ready, to justify the stance that if we are not ready we can delay non-compliance to the hukm, we need to consider the following:
i. Again, this is not a daleel.
ii. And even if it were, it could not counteract the qat?i [conclusive] dalail in the Qur?an and Sunnah which oblige immediate compliance to the amr of Allah (swt).
iii. What is the hujja [proof] that Islam was revealed with *their (raa) being ready * or *strong enough* as a consideration? The fact that they (raa) complied immediately? Well, how would you know if they (raa) had not been ready, considering they (raa) always implemented a new hukm immediately? Wallahu a?lam. How would you establish that something new was revealed only after they were steadfast in that which preceded it? You would need an explicit nusus [text] on this. It could not be inferred, for that is insufficient from a legal standpoint, wallahu a?lam.
iv. What you need, to act as a daleel, for this issue of delaying an obligation, is an example of such a delay occurring and being sanctioned by Islam. I know of none, but then again that isn?t saying much, for who am I?
v. We don?t scrutinise the Islamic ahkam from a chronological perspective, as chronology does not provide an illah [reason] behind a rule, wallahu a?lam. This would be disastrous. In fact Abu Na?im did this in his book, and said that because we live in times analogous to the Meccan period of wahy, we can disregard all the Madani ahkam! Subhan?Allah!
vi. Saying such suggests the existence of a perception that Islam was only being revealed for the Muslims, when it was not. Islam came for mankind, which is why the kuffar will be charged for non-adherence to the ahkam, wallahu a?lam, in the akhira, and not just the belief they carried. From this realisation, we can see that ?readiness? could not have been a factor, for the kuffar did *not* comply with the ahkam as/when they were revealed, despite compliance being directed towards them too. Wallahu a?lam. In fact, I think this is an oft-overlooked point (well, it only came to me after I had posted the original version of this piece), yet most pertinent.
4. Let us remember that our example is the Prophet (saw), and none other. So for the purposes of this discussion, the question would not be whether the Sahaba (raa) delayed adoption of ahkam- astaghfirullah- but whether the Prophet (saw) did, or that they (raa) did *with his (saw) consent.* That is what would form the daleel, not there procrastination *in and of itself,* wallahu a?lam. But I know of no such example, though I may well be wrong, wallahu a?lam.
5. Let us assume such an example can be produced. Its legal weight would have to be greater than all the counter evidence for it to establish anything more than an exception. Wallahu a?lam.
Insha?Allah I hope this is enough, but please do not hesitate to get back to me if it has fallen short.
Of course, it was not directed at you dear Sister, even though I was responding to your reply.
All that is from the Haqq, comes from Him (swt), only the mistakes are of His (swt) ?abd,
I re-read some of the posts in the thread, and wanted to address a couple of other points. And all tawfeeq is by the Hidaaya [Guidance] and Rahma [Mercy] of Him (awj) alone.
Regarding the issue of *mastering the basics* before moving onto issues like hijab, it must be stressed that these *basics*-or pillars as they are commonly known (even though this word was not mentioned in the relevant hadith- are obligations [faraid/wajibaat] just like hijab is an obligation, so there is no greater shari?i (i.e. legal) weighting) wrt to the *basics,* such that adherence to them comes *before* adherence to other obligations. The sin/reward of compliance/neglect of the basics is no more/less than that of other shari?i obligations which fall, outside these five. Nether are these *basics* pre-requisites for adherence to the more *advanced (?)* duties. Nor is there any notion of sequential adherence, i.e. that these 5 ?come first.? It may be apt to note that this hadith was one of the last to be said, and so a number of obligations had already been fulfilled by the time of its mention. Wallahu a?lam.
This is a perception which needs to be uprooted, for again, it engenders laxity and marginalisation of other obligations, yet the accountability in the hereafter will be no less. Wallahu a?lam.
Moving onto the very real subject of *sincerity of intention* which is used- somehwat understandably- as a delay to adopt the hijab. Of course the niyyah [intention] must be pure, and for the sake of Him (awj) alone. So due to the conviction that theirs is not (yet), some Sisters decide to delay the duty till they feel there niyyah has been appropriated correctly. On this point, I would like to share with you a story.
On another Discussion Board some time ago, a brother had written in querying why marijuana is forbidden, as it had helped him a lot.
I wrote back addressing the issue of the tahreem [prohibition]. And another brother also wrote back, but he did not address the issue of the tahreem, but the *physically detrimental* side-effects, as well as it being a waste of money.
The original brother ignored my post entirely (which isn?t the issue, as it was not an ego-trip) and commended the other brother for his wise words, and thanked him, as he *could relate to what he was saying.*
So I wrote back to the second brother, saying how none of his reasons were shari?i (that is naqli [textual]), and so the brother stopping his habit would not gain the thawab [reward] for the act, as he had not stopped because it was haram, but because it was a waste of money etc.
The brother wrote back- *really* politely and full of respect- and FLOORED me! Totally! Not by his khushoo [humility], but with his words. I had to take my kufi- :) - off to him.
What did he say?
That (like Sister Huma alluded to about ?bashing others over the head with fiqh rules? in an earlier post in this thread) whilst he agreed the brother would not get thawab for abstaining from the haram, at least he would not be *sinful* for engaging in it, regardless of his niyyah.
In other words, even if your niyyah is not sincere, if you wear the hijab, though you may not gain the thawab of Allah (swt), you AT LEAST won?t be incurring the sin. And THEN, in the meantime, work on your niyyah. You will be, if you like, in a safety-zone. For yes, you may not have the reward (wallahu a?lam), but you also won?t have the sin.
Why is it that in developing their niyyah, such Sisters do so whilst incurring the sin of remaining uncovered? For here, it is not a case of *not being ready to wear it,* but of not having the niyyah of the mukhliseen [sincere ones].
I could not reason against that, subhan?Allah. He was *so* right. Because regardless of your intention, if you are *covered,* you cannot be guilty of the sin of being uncovered, right? This should be something to think about. No one is saying it is *enough* to cover without a sincere intention. But that if intention is ones only concern, then at least cover, and in tandem, work on that niyyah, and insha?Allah Allah (swt) will facilitate it for you.
I think, for many Sisters- may Allah (awj) reward them for their sincerity and effort in seeking His (awj) pleasure- *psychologically*, the pressure that results from being told/reminded that they *should/must* comply with the obligation of hijab, is hard to bear. It can become a pervasive consuming pressure, and that is difficult, wallahu a?lam. But thoise who do the telling/reminding MUST *always* and *explicitly* stress that this telling/reminding is NOT a judgement upon them or their Islam. It is paramount that those Sisters do not construe it as such. Even if *you* KNOW it isn?t, the damage and potential fallout of *presuming* that the other realises it isn?t (a judgement call on them) is disasterous. Subhan?Allah. Da?wah should *always* be explicit and clear. There is no room for ambiguity and vagueness. It is- in part- such erroneous presumptions which emplace those barriers between muhajjabat and non-muhajjabat, wallau a?lam. Many times Sisters who don?t wear it, just *feel* judged by the mere act of being told, so its imperative to cushion them from such a distancing feeling. Some even adopt an eventual strategy of *indifference* to the obligation, as their means of dealing with it, astaghfirullah. Kind of like ?ignore it (the obligation) and the pressure to comply will go away.?
Last Thursday, I was giving da?wah to a brother who?d ?come out.? That is, he?d admitted he was gay, a?uzubillah. I told him that it did not alter the fact that he was my brother in Islam, and he still deserved my adab. It made the world of difference to him just that I?d said it. Because then he could know it *was* the case, rather than wonder if it was, or hope that it might be. It reassured him, wallahu a?lam. He was not made to feel like an outcast, an alien. BUT, at the same time, I made it clear, that it was haram, and a capital offence in Islam (though Muslims are not vigilantes), and I didn?t condone it. That my saying he was still my brother was not a tacit approval or tolerance of it.
The point is that Muslims should be able to approach other Muslims without inhibition and preconceptions of judgementalism. After all, who amongst us is ma?sum [infallible]? Exactly.
When Muslims don?t understand Islam, or why they must do something, or not do something. When they are ignorant about their Deen, when they have *issues,* (to contend with), and personal views which go against Islam, and so they wrestle to reconcile them, we should be able to provide that middle-ground where they can meet. Else they end up bottling it, or worse, talking to kuffar.
I know *so many* brothers who admit to being just pure-and-simple incapable of giving da?wah to a brother if they learnt he was gay. Subhan?Allah. Where would that leave such a brother? In the wildnerness of jahiliyyah, amidst kufr and ma?siyyah. How will he ever be able to confront his fisq if he has no one to turn to? If all he ever faces are Muslims who prejudge him, and never wait to find out why he is as he is? It won?t change him just to tel, him its haram. For if it did, he wouldn?t be gay in the first place, right? We simply cannot afford to forget the times we live in. The forces at play, and the inner demons people have. We can?t assume every Muslim starts from a point of ideal. Rather, the ideal is a point all of us work towards, and the fact that this is so, means we could not have started from there to begin with. So why the shock then when we learn of Muslims who are gay, etc.?
Only because it remains relatively uncommon. But, in part, it becoming more common will rest on our ability to deal with it when we learn of it. If we cannot cope, then for sure (wallahu a?lam) it will rise and spread, a?uzubillah.
The same with the problem of hijab. It is often *not* what is said, by way of telling/reminding, but *how* it is said. With compassion or impatience? With gentility or harshness? And I am not saying a single approach is the right approach. Some of us need a short sharp shock, whilst others need gentle coaxing and cajoling. And Allah (swt) knows best.
And this is where this is headed. That all too often, these Sisters don?t *object* to the duty, to what they?re being told, but *how* they?re being told it, and *that,* perhaps, is what becomes the turn-off, wallahu a?lam. That they are disgruntled at the thought of becoming like those who are ?correcting? them. As if to say ?if this is what Islam makes you, I don?t wanna be a part of it (i.e. not Islam, but this *type* of Islam).?
Of course I?m just talking loosely. What is important is to get the gist, not the semantics.
May Allah (swt) forgive me wherever I have been wrong, and imbue me with the wisdom necessary for da?wah, amr bi?l marouf wa nahy anil munkar, and naseeha.
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