Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
|Women the real world conquerers|
|08/16/01 at 12:03:15|
This is an amusing piece..^_^
Toronto Sun: Monday, July 30, 2001
Women the real world conquerers
By Stephen Lautens
Would Genghis Khan have conquered so much of the world if he had a wife? That's the question two Toronto researchers asked themselves, and came to the conclusion that he probably wouldn't. They believe wars are caused by a surplus of young men and a shortage of wives.
After looking at the figures for more than 150 countries they found that the more unattached young men a country has wandering around, the more likely they are to get up to no good in their spare time. And that the more of us who take a walk down that aisle, the more peaceful we become as a country.
Well, this doesn't come as a surprise to any of us married men. After all, who has time to invade small countries when there are china patterns to pick out and thank-you cards to address?
They point to Ireland for example, which until recently has had -- statistically speaking -- too many single men hanging around street corners at closing time. As the young men there get older, so the theory goes, Ireland should be in for a period of calm. Pretty soon everyone in the Emerald Isle will be settling down for a cup of milky tea and Coronation Street reruns.
So back to Genghis Khan.
How would history have been different if this 13th-century Mongol warrior had decided to get married young and settle down instead of bloodily carving himself an empire that stretched from Korea to Kiev?
"Are you going out dressed like that?"
Genghis looks at himself in the hall mirror.
"Why, what's wrong with it?" he asks his wife. She is clearly not happy with him going out for the second night in a row.
"In your best fur vest? If you get one drop of blood on it, it'll be ruined."
"But it makes me look tough." Genghis sullenly takes off the vest and hangs it up next to the keys to the mini-wagon.
"And what about that hat?" Mrs. Khan points at the fur-trimmed hat with a metal spike that frames Genghis' fierce face.
"What's wrong with it?" the mighty warrior roars quietly, since the kids are already in bed. "It's my old one."
"Exactly," says she who must be obeyed on pain of death or at least a night on the couch. "I thought I told you to throw that ratty old thing out."
Genghis sighs. She is always throwing out his favourite stuff.
"So when will you be back?" Her hands are on her hips.
"When my last enemy is dead and the wails and lamentation of their womenfolk join the howls of the wind." Genghis slashes at the air with his blade blackened by the blood of thousands.
"Well, you know we're going to my sister's wedding this weekend, so you better be back by then. Or had you forgotten?"
"Yes dear, I remember." Genghis drags his mighty sword in the dirt behind him as he shuffles out the door.
"Since you're going out, would it kill you to take the garbage with you?
Honestly, you have time to rape and pillage with your friends, but you don't have time to hang those blinds in the kitchen."
"As soon as I get back, dearest."
"And don't forget to pick up a quart of goat's milk on your way home."
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