Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
|07/11/01 at 00:30:44|
How about sharing stories of how someone on the street extracted money out of you?
Today I was standing outside the building where I live. It was raining (yeah, I was watching the rain again :)) and this guy comes up to me all wet and huffed out: "Excuse me, but sorry to disturb you ... but my car broke down and I need a dollar to get some gas ... I work at so-and-so, etc " So I got my wallet out and pull out a note and hand it to him. Then, I realize that it was a 20! And I had no $1 bills and there was no taking back 'coz he had it in his hands. He kept saying no-no I will get some change for you, wait for me, etc. I waited a few minutes and then left.
Normally I never give anything to the people on the streets. 'Coz most of the time they use it for drugs and alcohol. But I didn't feel too bad for giving away too much. Maybe that $20 was not meant for my use. Maybe it was some sort of expiation. I waited a few minutes just to see if he kept his word but then I just left.
Any experiences? How do you avoid getting sucked in?
|07/11/01 at 02:59:32|
nah, no experiances, well non that i can remember:)
if i remember ne i'll let ya know:)
|07/11/01 at 04:16:33|
A couple of years ago i was shopping in the West End of London and a young woman sitting on the floor asked me for some money. For some reason (i can't remember) i started walking away, and then she called behind me 'asalama likum,' so i turned back and gave her some money which she accepted with a wry smile on her face.
|07/11/01 at 04:21:04|
There used to be this man who always used to ask my father for some
money claiming that he was hungry. Right away my father offered to take
him to a restaurant nearby. At first the man did not want to go to the
restaurant, he just wanted the money and told my dad that he'll buy his
own food. Of course after many encounters with people like this, my
father refused to give cash.
So, eventually the man realized that my father would not give him cash
so he kept on coming for food. My dad would take him to the
restaurant, ask him to order anything and paid the bill.
Alhamdulillah, what a good way to gain some reward.
|07/11/01 at 05:33:12|
In the train station here, there are always people who say they have no money to buy a ticket to get home and ask for a small amount of money. One time I was with my husband and this guy asked us for some money for a train ticket. My husband took him over to the ticket machine and said "tell me where you want to go and I'll pay for your ticket" So the guy hesitated for a second and said the name of some place. So my husband asked him for the code for that place (you key in the code and the price comes up on the screen). So the guy had to go to the list of stations and search for the code for the place he had said. He got really red and embarrassed but my husband bought the ticket for him anyway, whether he needed it or not.
|07/11/01 at 11:03:28|
When I lived in Chicago it was common for "beggers" to come up to your car window, while I was waiting at a red light.
Every morning the same man would approach me because he was hungry. So every day I obliged.
One day I gave him a bag of groceries and he never came to my car window again.
-I also had a "father" type ask me for gas money to get home. He promised me he would send the money (my work address)- never heard from him again.
- yet another time:
I was in a real hurry to get to a friends home, it was very late. It was a dark and a rainy night. I was sitting at a Wendys drive thru and from behind me a old woman approached me and ask for money and help.
After I got over the initial fright- didn't see her coming. I actually said no. She disappeared as fast as she came.
To this day (this happened almost 15 years ago) I regret and fear the decision I made. I often wonder if it was a test.
As a result of this I never turn down anyone- if they are lying it is between them and Allah swt.
|07/11/01 at 11:44:36|
It's interesting recently I heard a scholar say that the prophet [saw] loved guests because they came with their own provision. An odd statement right? But then he went into a discussion of RIZQ (provision, wealth, sustenance, not sure how to translate it). And how our rizq is already written for us... so if a guest comes over and you feed them, that food was really always meant to be THEIR rizq not yours...so sometimes you might think something is your rizq but it's not...it belongs to someone else.
This is really a revolutionary concept.. non-muslims can't fathom it... your money is not your own? it's like 'unamerican' to say i think :) i think it should encourage us to think about the money we have. we have a duty to do by it, why did Allah give it to us? what would be it's best use?
Funny story once when we were at umrah some guy comes up to my brother and asks him for some $ for food. My brother had about a ton of these types of approaches.. I think he looked like the rich american tourist? So he just says....no I can't but I can give you some food... come on. Then he bought the guy a dinner from KFC!! The guy just looked really confused and walked away with the food.
BTW I get nervous when strangers ask me for $. For me I feel safer giving the money to an organization that helps the needy.
*(hy purification of the heart series)
|07/11/01 at 12:09:54|
|whose met them people with the bits of paper saying they are from bosnia? they are often out side musjids and know the word slm.|
any way, my friends wife is bosnian, and one came up to her on the tube, and asked her for money, my friends wife spoke to her and she didnt understand. so they are not bosnian.
|07/11/01 at 16:17:06|
There is this guy who stands in front of the bank and the deli at lunch time every day. He says he is hungry and needs some $ for food. OK I give him some and so does others. Then he goes into the deli and buys a beer. I wasn't shocked about this so I asked him why does he claim hunger for food and then buy beer. He remembered me from about 5 minutes ago and came up with some excuse (I can't remember his words becuase they came from the same place as his hunger line). Now he has been really creative and does not ask for money for food anymore. He now has 4 uncurable diseases.
Some people give him food and you can usually see it in the garbage can on the corner later in the day.
|07/11/01 at 18:43:07|
once when i went on holiday, i went shoppin with my cousine. These beggars came up to ask 4 money (she had worned me not to giv money) but i gav them the money, abt 5 mins latter lots of other beggars come upto me includdin da 1st 1 2 ask 4 more money!!! My cousine told me soon as they get money they start demandin 4 more as if its thier money.
so the next time i went shoppin with her, i listened to her;) ne ways another beggar did aproach us, so she started sayin actually we need a servant to help at home, we'll giv u a job!!!
the man jut replied i'll rather beg, theres more money in it:)
Another time when i was in Saudi i realised sum ppl were beggers had gold teeth, rings, chains and bracelets???
|07/12/01 at 02:42:53|
Yep me had da one fae bosnia or sumplace too.I was walking on, until
the wee boy with the woman said salam sister, and he got da money.
on another note, the big issue people usually have nice rhymes to
encourage people. Theres one that goes like:
Im not being rude
I dont mean to intrude
but its ALL GOOD!
Buy the BIG issue!
makes me laff everytime!
|07/12/01 at 13:53:13|
I have a ton of these kinds of stories too. I guess it's natural when you're a hijabi in downtown Chicago -- every other peddler says salaam, and is your brother.
The first time it happened, it was the first time I was trying my public transportation route home. The women says to me that she has diabetes and she needs money to eat first so that she could take her medication. So I say okay, and give her all the change in my pocket. And then I turn to look at where I need to go, and she says "ma'am, you can take this back, no one can get a meal with this money." I felt so bad (I was very inexperienced) so I reach in my pocket and give her a five dollar bill. And that's all I had on me!
Another time, I was walking to my class from a building about two blocks away. All of the sudden this lady comes out of nowhere and jumps in front of me. She says "no ma'am, I don't want you're money, just please, please listen to me for a second," so I say okay. And she takes out these postcards and says "see I'm in this program, where we have to sell these to pay our rent for our SRO." And so I ask how much is one, and she says its two dollars, and I give it. Later I discover that the postcard was free, and you can take as many as you want by the spoons and forks in the cafeteria! I was sooooooooo angry for being deceived.
And then another time I was walking down Jackson, near State, and a women comes up to me and says, please please, o queen of queens, your highness can you listen to me for a second. i HAD to stop. So she says, see I have no socks (and this was in February), and I need to go get some. If you give me ten dollars I can go get some from Payless down there. But she had really good shoes on, and a nicer jacket then mine. But being a doofus head, or just being nice, I overlooked it and gave her the money, and then she wanted to hug me and kept saying strange things like "your highness."
The problem is that its illegal in Chicago to give to peddlers but I just can't avoid these situations!
|07/12/01 at 14:42:17|
|Bismillah and salam,|
Sister Jannah what is more amazing is the even the rest of the hadeeth subhanAllah. The hadeeth something like this: it is surprising the issue of the guest, he comes with his provisions, and leaves with the sins of the hosts.
Meaning that Allah wipes away sins by being good to visitors insha'Allah.
I don't like to talk about individuals and beggars, because many are victims. Most transient and homeless people were abused and had a rough life, and hence abuse these drugs which drive them to do these things to others to get the money.
I think the biggest scams are corporations and HAVING to pay for insurance, etc.
|07/12/01 at 14:52:55|
|this is not about being swindled but about the beauty of charity|
whe ni went for umrah .. we went with an older relative who has live in Sa for a very long time ... during tawaf he would slip bills into the hands of those who were making tawf by crawling around the kaba or those who looked poor / blind .. there was something so beatiful in the way he did it as if it was second natiure and he put no thought inot it because at the same time he was making tawaf and reciting duas
also the poor people there sell bird seed so i bought some and started to sprinkle it everyone until my mom explained to me that im supposed to dump it in one spot so that those who sold it to me could recollect it and sell it again .. it was to help them help themselves ... i thought this was beautiful
|07/12/01 at 22:25:46|
You know in Egypt, begging for money has become an art. Those of you who have been to Egypt or perhaps are from there will know what I am talking about. Couple stories I've heard:
My dad's aunt's husband knows this fellow who does his "rounds" around the place that he lives. He told us that everytime the fellow sees him, he gets nervous and pulls out all these bills from his pocket to give him. Sorta like a bribe not to tell people about what he does. Of course my dad's aunts husband doesn't take the money, but isn't it ironic that a "beggar" is bribing someone not to tell people about him begging?
Also in Egypt:
During Ramadan, my mom and dad were leaving from iftar at some relatives of our, so as they are looking for a taxi to get home, this dude runs towards my dad and starts telling him his life story "oh i have had most misfortune in life, im miserable, my kids are dying" blah blah blah, so my dad gives him some money and the guy goes "Allah be praised, may you live to be 100 and have 20 kids".
Meanwhile my dad and mom are still looking for a taxi right? So they finally find one around the corner, and guess who they say there beggin for money? Haha you guess right, the SAME guy. Only when he saw them he ran the other direction. :)
There is a word in Arabic, al mutasawil basically meaning the fake beggar, or the pretend beggar of sorts.
I am not saying that no one is poor in Egypt, the poverty rate is sky high. But the amount of mutasawaleen are also high ...
|07/14/01 at 15:58:38|
salam, i've never had any experiences like this..and if i do, i never have money on me. lol
|07/15/01 at 07:37:39|
"And (remember) when We took a covenant from the Children of Israel, (saying); Worship none but Allah (Alone) and be dutiful and good to parents, and to kindred, and to orphans and Al-Masakin (the poor), and speak good to people [i-e enjoin righteousness and forbid evil, and say the truth about Mohammad[saw]], and perform As-Salat (Iqamat-as-Salat), and give Zakat. Then you slid back, except a few of you, while you are backsliders."
Narrated Abu Hurairah (RA): Allah's Messenger [saw] said," Al-Miskin (the poor) is not the one who goes round the people and asks them for a mouthful or two (of meals) or a date or two, but Al-Miskin (the poor) is that who has not enough (money) to satisfy his needs and whose condition is not known to others, that others may give him something in charity, and who does not beg of people." (Sahih Al-Bukhari, Vol. 2, Hadith No. 557).
The definition of "The poor" was not clear to many of us including me before I incidentally went through this hadith. Hope, it helps u all, InshaAllah, as it helped me.
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