Madinat al-Muslimeen Islamic Message Board
|Tadhkira ¯ Friendship|
|03/30/01 at 15:59:27|
Bismillah Ar-Rahman Ar-Raheem
"And the believers, men and women, are protecting friends one of another; they enjoin the right
and forbid the wrong, and they establish worship and pay the poor-due, and they obey God and His
messenger." (Qur'an 9.71)
Friendship is a blessing of Allah (SWA) that has been bestowed upon mankind. It is a means
through which we share love, express our emotions, and cultivate our souls. There is a sense of
exhilaration in being in the company of intimate friends with whom one can share the moments of
happiness in life, and with whom one can endure the moments of sadness and adversity. While in
the company of our closest friends, we express our inner feelings, and it is to them we open our
There are two words for heart in the Qu'ran. The first and most commonly used word is Qalb.
The other word for heart in the Qu'ran is fu'ad. Fu'ad signifies an object that absorbs light
and reflects it on something else. The heart absorbs everything in the surrounding environment.
When the heart is exposed to an atmosphere of corruption, the heart itself becomes corrupt and
becomes hardened. A hardened heart leads an individual guiltless and unremorseful while
engaging in acts contrary to moral prescriptions. It is not the eyesight in humans that becomes
blinded, it is the heart that when hardened, becomes blinded, thus blinding us to the immoral
acts we commit. In order to soften the heart, one must always be in contemplation of The Real
(SWA). One must always strive to always be in the right environment to avoid diseases of the
It is of great importance for the Mu'mun tk be in good company in order to protect his heart and
character. An individual's friends play an important role in the development or regression of
their Iman, as Rasool Allah (SAW) said: "A man follows the religion of his friend; so each one
should consider whom he makes his friend." Ones interactions with his friends strongly
influence his behavior, morals and conduct. If one is in the company of those who are of good
character and piety, then there is much benefit to be attained through the exchange, as their
virtue and Noor is sure to reflect upon him. Similarly, keeping company with those who are not
mindful of Allah and who invite one to sin will surely cause him to deviate from the religion,
as the poor character of his friends will be mirrored in his character, as Rasool Allah (SAW)
said: The example of a good companion and a bad companion is like that of the seller of musk,
and the one who blows the blacksmith's bellows. So as for the seller of musk then either he
will grant you some, or you buy some from him, or at least you enjoy a pleasant smell from him.
As for the one who blows the blacksmith's bellows then either he will burn your clothes or you
will get an offensive smell from him."
Allah (SWA) says, "I sit with the one who remembers me." Through remembrance, if anyone sits
with the Real (SWA), he becomes His intimate and obtains noble qualities accordingly. If one
sits with those who remember God, then has taken a step towards Allah in seeking the company of
those who strive to be God's intimates. He will be mindful of his place in this world and will
be careful to guard his deen. If one is in the company of the people of doubt, then he himself
will begin to doubt. He will neglect his deen and will be ashamed to perform prayers and other
obligations while in the company of these friends and will instead tolerate and participate in
his friend's bad deeds. It is easy to be in the company of such friends, since they tell their
companion only what he wants to hear and they invite one to a path of pleasure. This pleasure,
however, is short lived, as Allah (SWA) says "And (remember) the Day when the wrong-doer will
bite his hands and say: Woe to me! Would that I had taken a path with the messenger. Woe to
me! If only I had not taken so-and-so as a friend! He has led me astray from this Reminder
(the Qu'ran) after it had come to me. And Satan is ever a deserter to man in the hour of need."
Indeed it will be discovered on the day of Reckoning that these companions are not really our
friends, they are our foes, as Allah (SWA) says: "Friends on that Day will be enemies one to
another, except al-Muttaqoon (those with Taqwa).
A true friend is one who cares about his companion's mind, body and soul. They will be
concerned not only with the physical well being of their piers, but will also have a genuine
care for their spiritual well being. They will never hesitate to be truthful to their
companions and draw attention to their faults. A true friend will never tell his companion only
what he wants to hear, instead, he will be understanding, sympathetic, and sincere. He will
be honest with his companions, even at the cost of straining his relations with them. He will
show his love and affection for his friends both publicly and privately through supplication on
their behalf. When a believer prays for his companion, the angels supplicate to God that he may
receive the same blessings. It is this private act of supplication that is the ultimate
expression of love for a friend.
Throughout life friends come and go. We make new friends daily and we gradually let go of our
old friends. Can there then be such a companion that we would call a forever friend? Rasool
Allah (SAW) has told us that a person will be with those he loves in the afterlife. No matter
how short lived a friendship is, a friend who loves and cares for his companion is indeed a
forever friend. Ali (RA) said; "Two who are friends for Allah's sake; one of them dies he will
be granted al-Jannah, so he remembered his friend and supplicated for him, saying : O Allah my
friend used to command me to obey You and to obey Your Prophet (SAW) and used to command me to
do good and to forbid me from doing evil. And he told me that I will meet You. O Allah, do not
let him to go astray after me, until you show him what you have just shown me, until You are
satisfied with him, just like You are satisfied with me." So he is told: "Had you known what
is written for your friend, would you have laughed a lot and cried a little." Then his friend
dies and the souls are gathered, and both are asked to express their opinions about each other.
So each one of them says to his friend: you were the best brother, the best companion and the
best friend." And when one of the two disbelieving friends dies, and he is given tidings of
Hellfire, he remembered his friend and he said: O Allah, my friend used to order me to disobey
You and disobey Your Prophet, and commanded me to do evil, and forbade me from doing good, and
told me that I would not meet You. O Allah, do not guide him after me, until you show him what
you have just shown me and until you are dissatisfied with him just like You are dissatisfied
with me." Then the other disbelieving friend dies, and their souls are gathered, and both are
asked to give their opinions about each other. So each one says to his friend: you were the
worst brother, the worst companion and the worst friend."
On the day of Reckoning, after being judged and having been granted paradise, selected Mu'mins
will be bestowed with the honor of testimony. They will be allowed to testify for their friends
and plead with Allah (SWA) to save their souls from hellfire. One given such honor may testify
for a friend who provided him with the means to break fast, for a friend who tried to save an
animal's life, or for a friend who reminded him to pray. Then, with Allah's (SWA) permission,
they will be allowed to pull out their friends from the hellfire.
A friendship for the sake of Allah is never a temporary friendship. No matter how brief, how
distant, or how intense it may be, it is eternal. It is our friends with whom we will be
reunited in the afterlife.
We ask Allah (SWA) to increase our Iman and allow us to be of good character. We ask Allah to
give us friends who are of good character and with whom He is pleased. We ask Allah for friends
with whom we can travel on the road to Jannah. May Allah purify us in our intentions and
actions. May Allah (SWA) unite us all in the Jannah. Ameen.
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