From: Syeda Fatima Naqvi email@example.com
Ethics of Disagreement
Assalamu-alaikum everyone.insha'allah I hope that everybody is well and with strong Iman. Ok, I had attended the sez leadership training conference this october and I took notes on the lectures and I thought that it would be a good idea to perhaps write about the lectures so that those who could not attend could benefit from all the knowledge as well, Insha'allah. I have only gotten around to writing about this lecture but I thought that I'd send it to you all and later, when I finally do get around to writing about the other ones, send those as well.
Insha'allah. ok, please keep in mind that the words are solely mine and not the Imam's , this is a praphrased version of his lecture so if there is a problem it is not due to the Imam but myself. Those of you who attended, if you see any discrepancy or incorrect info, PLEASE let me know Insha'allah. Take care everybody,may Allah SWT be with you and may He love us all, wassalam, your sister in Islam, Syeda (Feiza)
(This was a lecture given by Imam Masri from Orlando,Fl. Ma'shallah he spoke very well.)
ETHICS OF DISAGREEMENT
Looking through any hadith book , I am sure that we are well aware of the fact that the Sahaba themselves had many disagreements and differences in opinions. Each of them would have valid points based on their own individual interpretations which, naturally, tended to vary from person to person. Thus from this and life itself, we can definately surmise that disagreements are a very natural thing and that differences of opinions are not some anomaly or a deviation from the norm. However, even though the Sahaba would have disagreements, they would NEVER, to the best of our knowledge, Allahu-Alim, succumb to the pettiness of belittling each other, of being sarcastic, of hurling insults, or anything else for that matter (no food fights for them:) ), and of taking things way out of proportion to such an extent that the very brotherhood of the Muslims was endangered.
Today, nearly 1400 years later we all sit here, "reminiscing" on their lives, and trying to discover the secret to their overwhelming success, but we often times tend to forget the real reason behind it all. The sahaba were great people, yes, but they were not superhuman beings. They were real, as real as you or I and they all had their individual strengths and weaknesses. What made them so successful was the fact that the Quran for them was not simply a book to browse through occasionally when one had time. No, to them it was a "How To " manual on life, or the written instructions on how to fight a jihad against the self. Their attitude thus was akin to a soldier's to their general in the midst of war: "We hear and we obey" They felt that it was incumbent upon them to carry out every instruction that they read and it is for this reason that so many of them would only memorize ten ayahs of the quran at a time . Now, in terms of disagreements, their Iman sustained them throughout and if we want to be like them in their closeness to Allah SWt, we must keep the following things in mind when we are disagreeing w/anyone.
1.Sincerety: Do not disagree just for the sake of disagreeing. Don't argue just because you don't happen to like someone or something. whenever you argue, make sure that you are sincere in your intentions and that your intention is not to cause problems but to help your brother and sister in Islam.
2. Patience: We must be very patient with all of our brothers and our sisters. Do not argue over silly or trivial issues and have enough patience to not get angry. Stay calm and sincere, remember that people listen much more willingly when they are not being yelled at. Remember also just how patient Allah SWT is w/ us. He did not just destroy all of humanity whenever we did something awfully wrong, no He sent us Rasool after Rasool, time after time, to guide us to bring us back to Him. look in the Quran and see that when talking about Pharoah, Allah SWT tells Moses (AS) to "speak to Pharoah a soft word" when this human actually had the audacity of saying " I am your lord most high" !!!!! If Allah SWT can be sooooo patient w/ an inidividual as awful as pharoah, surely our brothers and sisters in Islam deserve atleast a fraction of our patience.
3. Tolerance and Mercy: If you disagree with someone, it is not necessary to insult or to bombard a person. Be tolerant and merciful for you can not force someone to agree w/you. Remember that in the Quran, Allah swt told Rasoolallah SAW to say to the Qureish, "Hey, if I am wrong in what I beleive and am sinning, then you are free from blame." Basically, let me do what I want, and you do whatever you want. He never said,"Be muslim or die." now if he could be tolerant about this extremely important issue, just so should we be tolerant about issues much less vital. Respect other opinions and points of views and remember that just because someone does not agree w/ you, does not mean that they are wrong.
4. Wisdom: Prioritize issues. Ask," Is this argument REALLY worth it?" Do not waste time arguing over unimportant issues or issues that have already been decided by Allah SWT and Rasoolallah SAW.
5. Give sincere Naseehah(advice),which has it's own rules.
2. Wisdom/strategy: Think about what is the best way to change the actions of that person? What approach can/ should be used w/ the person. Everyone responds in different ways. For some, a gentle word is enough while with others, a more agressive approach is necessary. However, regardless of the method, remember that your naseeha must never be given in such a way as to hurt anyone. For example, Hasan and Hussein (RA), grandchildren of Rasoolallah SAW once saw an old man doing wudu incorrectly. Though very young, they were very perturbed and talked amongst themselves on how to best correct their elder w/o any disrespect. So, they decided to tell the old man that they were having a contest between them on who could do wudu in the best way and ask him to be their judge. The man agreed and so both of them proceeded to do wudu exactly in the same, correct way. The old man, realized his mistake and said," You both are correct." Al-Humdulillah, soo much children can teach us if we only let them.
Ok, dear sisters, this is all on this topic. I felt that cosidering all the insults and all the remarks about "that was a stupid comment' etc, that were flying around, that this was an important reminder. Anything wrong or offensive is from myself and I ask both Allah SWT's and your forgiveness. I luv you all very much and send you hugs, wassalam, your loving sis in Islam, Syeda
p.s. forgive the typing mistakes please, not to mention spelling:):)